A Glimpse in the Heart of a Mourner

When we mourn the death of someone, more often than not, we are mourning them for ourselves. I know that sounds absolutely crazy, but let me illustrate my point.

When someone dies, what you hear a ton is, “We’ll miss you”. You will hear, “You were too young to die”, or “This never should have happened”, but you are almost 100% guaranteed to hear, “We’ll miss you”. I mean, it’s an admirable sentiment. Assuming the dead can hear our mourning, they would want to know that they are missed. People, in general, like the feeling of being loved and belonging somewhere.

But it still goes to show that when people say, “We’ll miss you” or, more specifically, “I’ll miss you”, they are saying it for themselves. After a person that we’re close to has died, we can’t stand it, because they aren’t around anymore. It’s more comparable with the concept of a person going to a faraway country for the rest of your life, and you can’t communicate with them anymore.  In reality, it does not help the dead at all to mourn them. It doesn’t even help us, because we won’t function the way we used to. Mourning is for the mourner, but it comes out of love. That’s the beautiful thing about death: it helps us see that we love someone.

It’s sort of like with me and books. I don’t know about you, but I, personally, love books that make me cry. Being able to cry after a book helps me to know that the characters truly meant something to me, and that my heart isn’t hard, or anything weird and morbid like that. While death is a horrible, awful thing, it helps to remind us that our hearts were made for loving people. It helps to remind us of the true gift of life. Please don’t take me wrong in this: I am not saying that death is a good thing. But we can’t really change death, except in those rare miracles where people are raised from the dead. But that doesn’t happen very often. However, while that person isn’t living anymore, it’s not like they’re hurting anymore (once again, I do not, repeat, do NOT think that death is preferable over life. Don’t read this and commit suicide, okay?).

Like I said, what’s beautiful about death is that it shows us that we have a heart. And it shows us that life is short. Oh gosh, I could go into a whole ‘nother lecture about how life is too short, but people don’t realize that it’s too short! Sorry, my emotions are getting ahead of me…The point is that while death can bring out the worst in people (For example: “My name is Inigo Montoya, You kill my father, Prepare to die”), it can also bring out the best in people. We mourn for our sakes, not for the dead person. But at the same time, mourning comes about because of the love we have for that other person and so it really is for the other person. Oh, the irony of life!

Have fun with that,

Epylle Spydre

p.s. I won’t write about such sad topics as dying people all the time. It was just what struck my mood today. Cheers!

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